Last week, I came across a viral tweet about a lady whose colleague felt it was okay for her to serve the board members after a meeting, because she was the only woman present at the meeting. According to her, she politely declined and her boss ordered her male colleague who made the suggestion to serve everyone, way to go boss!!!!!!

Growing up Nigerian, there’s a belief that as a girl child, you’re meant to be the care giver & the home maker. There’s a limit to what you can do and where you can be. I’m igbo, I remember how angry it made me feel that women were relegated in the social hierarchy. In fact a female child was almost considered useless because the belief is that her place is in the kitchen.

I honestly didn’t understand why it had to be that way, i remember how my mum would yell at me to join my sisters in the kitchen. We had this nosy family friend who would always compare me to their daughter who was my age mate, but had started cooking by age 12(good for her). When I was younger, I’d rather change the light bulbs, clear the grass, kill the chicken or help my uncle in his factory, than sit in the kitchen.

I can never forget the first time I made amala for the family, it was a disaster. ( now I’m a pro in the kitchen though, hopefully soon, I’ll be generous enough to talk about my relationship with food ).

We also teach girls to aspire to marriage , I personally feel African parents deliberately train the girl child to be a wife, how pathetic! Don’t get me wrong, marriage is a beautiful thing but there’s more to life you know.

Fast forward to today, gender roles in Nigeria is still a big issue and with feminist movement, a lot of women have awoken to put in 10x more work in other to get a seat on the table. I’m an Igbo girl and a typical Igbo man, educated or not, would likely pick a male child over a female child because the popular belief is that women are weaker vessels and their place is in the kitchen and their husband’s home(I know this because I’ve experienced it). It’s crazy how shortsighted we have allowed ourselves to be not to see how much potential a female child has. So because I’m female, I’m expected to aspire to marriage, to procreate and run a home but we often forget “it takes two to tango”.

I know you’re probably thinking, what’s the head and tail of this write up yeah ? Here you go 👉🏽

We live in a world where we’re presented with endless opportunities regardless of our gender. For decades now, women have been battling the conventional mentality that there’s a limit to how far we can go, the likes of Oprah Winfrey, Funmilayo Ransome Kuti, etc. Women have taken it upon themselves to show the society that we’re not only beautifully crafted by God but we’re also amazing creatures and there’s no limit to what we can achieve. Modern day women don’t make excuses of culture, religion, gender etc. Cultural backgrounds maybe be faulty, Yes, there maybe restrictions but we are ready to continue breaking these barriers and show the world that we are in an era of the “not so conventional Queens”. We have so much to offer than being the perfect wife, partner or mother but we can secure opportunities for education, new job possibilities, increase political involvement, and improve family expectations & raise new generations of fearless youths.