Diary of a broke Lagos big girl : EKO FOR SHOW

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“Ding”

A notification popped up on my phone while I was enjoying my Friday night watching my Korean series, “Who is trying to ruin my moment with my Le Min Hoo?!” I thought. I reluctantly reached for my phone to check.

My heart skipped for a minute when I saw a mail notification. I had spent the whole of last week sending out my resume to different top companies in Nigeria, Lagos to be precise.

I have sent tons of mails to companies in order to secure a job so I can activate my Babygirl lifestyle but all has been futile. From regret mails to no reply at all, I have kept my faith up.

It’s been 1 year post NYSC & 2 years since I graduated from Delta state university & I’m yet to get a job. I have gradually made the plan to move to the city of dreams by relocating to Lagos immediately after my NYSC, Infact I wanted to school in Unilag but it seemed like Unilag didn’t want me( That’s a story for another day.)

I have always heard that Lagos is the “New York” of Nigeria; A state where dreams are made realities and hopes are revived. A state where there are more than enough rooms for everyone to succeed. Infact, I’ve always told myself it’s either Lagos or nothing so I moved here to achieve that dream and mehn I must admit, Lagos is the perfect balance, portraying more of 2 extremes with a selected few dangling in the middle; the rich & affluent & the poor!

I eagerly reached for my phone to check the mail notification and it was from Dominos pizza. I rolled my eyes and dropped my phone with a lint hiss “mctewwwwwwwwww! These Dominos people no Dey tire?!, if not for the bonanza notifications I get, I’d have unsubscribed since.

I dropped my phone to continue with my Korean series when I got another notification. “arrrrgh!! It better not be dominos again because I’ll legit take a bike to the nearest one and curse them with amadioha” I said out loud.

I reached for my phone and boom! It was a mail from a top Nigerian company i had applied to 2 months ago. I couldn’t believe my eyes.

I screamed so loud out of excitement that my cousins ran out. “What’s wrong Rita, wetin happen” they asked; i dropped my phone for them to read the mail while I was busy jumping & thanking God. I could not believe it.

My cousin, Akpos, took my phone and read the invitation out loud. “Haha, Rita you don hammer o, wait make you get the job first before you dey celebrate na, shooo” (a popular Warri slang)

“You dey craze?”

“Which kain bad belle yarn you dey follow me talk so”

“Them send you to me? Abeg give me my phone make you no go use your bad mouth spoil interview for me”,

I angrily snatched my phone from him while my two other cousins continued congratulating me. We were already talking about my salary, the things I’ll buy when I get paid, how I’ll rent an apartment on the island.. Ikoyi living, big car, top girl things etc…

I was walking on sunshine! I could not believe it!

After the gists, i went back to my room and it started to sink in. That was when the daydreaming started; How I’d finally be able to buy my own things; the new iPhone, a new watch, a new wig… My mind went far….

Dreaming turned to anxiety, would i be able to get a job at such a place? Am i smart enough? Am I good enough? How would i do during the interview? I could literally hear my heart beat, beating as loud as a marching band.

In the midst of thinking, I didn’t know when i slept off.

I woke up and almost jumped from my bed. I made up my mind that if this baby girl lifestyle is for me, i have to do all i can to ace the interview….

On the morning of the interview, I had already borrowed my favourite cousin’s double drawn 14 inches wig, wore my figure hugging yet cooperate gown, my louboutin shoes and my Victoria Beckham bag! I was ready to give them hot hot, you know “Warri no dey carry last”.

I heard the ladies that work in the company are fashion killers and are extremely smart, I stan a company with class. I have literally stalked all their top female executives’ social media handles, their dress sense, how they speak, places they love traveling to just to find common grounds, to see where I fit in.

I would admit their profiles was quite intimidating but I was definitely not giving up with out a strong fight.

After getting dressed, I ordered for a ride from one of the ride hailing companies in Lagos, I was not going to ruin my swag by taking danfo (Lagos yellow bus) this morning, not when I’m going to the heart of Ikoyi.

On our way to the Ikoyi, I think I underestimated the traffic that day, seeing that it was a Wednesday, I was not expecting to be stuck in traffic at all. Google maps also confirmed that the road was almost unrealistically free.

“Aha! my village people did not see this one to spoil tor me, I jokingly said to the driver”

He chuckled slightly.

“Madame you can’t be too sure o, once Lagos witches tie wrapper on top traffic, nothing fit change am o but make we dey go” He said

I paid little attention to him, lost in my daydream once again…

“Everything go soon soft” (a popular Warri slang ) I thought to myself

My interview was scheduled for 10am & it was already 8:46am when I snapped out of my daydream when I heard my drivers voice

“Na wa, this traffic is from hell o!” He said

Alas, we were just approaching Unilag back gate on third mainland bridge, that was when the panic & anxiety kicked in… Last Last, my village people followed me, I immediately started sweating in a fully air conditioned car & I suddenly felt the urge to pee out of fear…

“Oga, do you think we can make it to Ikoyi by 9:30am latest? “ I asked with my Warri accent, losing every tongue of british accent I had practised over the weekend…

“Let’s just be praying ma” He replied

That moment, I knew I was in trouble….

Diary of a young broke Lagos top babe

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“Light at the end of the tunnel”

Squinting, searching, seeking for one ray of light, one faint sight of colour to validate my direct decision making.

I squint some more, took off my glasses out of its case and clean it down, hoping that when I wear it, my eyes will confirm that my life is moving forward, but nothing is certain. This minute l’m celebrating a major win while the next, I’m beating myself up for all the things i could have accomplished at my age. Oh well, that’s life I guess. It’s not an easy task staying focused, at least not when the noise of other people’s wins is glaring, making me feel like I am not doing enough.

Most people have a habit of showing the glamorous part of their lives, but no one really knows when they are crying in their closest or discussing their deepest pain and hurt with God.

I’m guilty of this too, I mean we live in a world where no one is concerned about your struggle, infact they discourage you when you are at your lowest but once you hit your breakthrough, they’ll swear on how they know you and supported you all along. Eish….

Anyway that’s not the gist today!

My name is Rita but my friends call me “RiRi”. I’m from Delta state, Nigeria and I’m 24 years old. Growing up, I had my life planned out in my head & it goes thus..

Finish secondary school when I’m 15/16

Get admission into a prestigious university immediately

Complete university and finish with a first class..

Get a job that’ll pay like 1 million per month, I mean Forbes list get ready for this mogul.. lol

Get married when I’m 23/24 and just live a fairytale life..

Here I am now, can we all laugh together? Lol

I’m sure life was looking at me funny like sis, pipe down, that’s not how your journey is written. But what do I know?

It’s quite frustrating being broke, I mean it’s not like you don’t have money, but it just never stays or let me say I don’t have it in abundance as l’ll love to. I mean, I can’t buy the Ikoyi mansion I so desire, or that fast car I know everything about & can easily talk about in my sleep without peeping.

One thing I know for sure is being broke can be super humbling & the experience has given me that profound feeling of sense, budgeting, importance of investing & gratitude for the time I had money in abundance.

From my experience, I tend to lose all my senses once I have money. I literally discard every humbling feeling & blow my money fast! Huh (in Rick Ross voice… did you get my lame joke lol).

Anyway, I’ve learnt a lot from being broke. Even though I’m still broke, I don’t mind sharing; you’re welcome

1. When you’re broke, it takes true & real friends to stick around: everyone is trying to make ends meet & while we’re all clamouring for a better life, we tend to forget about everything else & just focus on ourselves, and that’s fine if you ask me. However, I’ve noticed that a lot of people only reach out to you when it’s beneficial to them. But you see those friends that still push to reach out in this chaotic world, those friends you can always call on regardless of the situation & you know they’ll answer, those are the friends you should keep around in life.

2. Gratitude: I must admit, I used to have a very irritating habit when it comes to spending money. I mean, you don’t really appreciate what you have until you lose it & it applies to money too. Being broke has a way of teaching you gratitude.

3. Life isn’t fair: life doesn’t give a shit about you. While some people are born into wealth, some are not. The fingers are not equal same way our lives are not the same & it’s okay. Some people have it easy while other don’t, but it’s just life. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t work hard because in life, you snooze, you lose.

4. You can lose yourself to money: They say money answereth all things yet is the roof of all evil. I’ve heard a lot of rich people say money is not everything & I often wonder why. Even though I’ve not experienced that level of wealth, I think I understand or let me say I’m trying to understand. An older friend once told me that everything we do in life revolves around making money in order to live a better life. He said, while the rich man working to add to their wealth, the poor man is also working to attain the status of the rich.

He explained it as an unending cycle until death. He further explained that people forget to live in the bid to try to make money & by the time they decide to breathe, it’s almost too late.

5. Money doesn’t guarantee happiness: You can have all the money in the world & still not find genuine happiness. There’s so many riches in little things in life that don’t involve money. Things like spending time with your family, being in a good mental space, doing things you’re passionate of & the list is endless.

With all these being said; do I want to make money? YES!

Do I want to be a billionaire? OH YES!!!

Do I want financial freedom? YES!!!

Am I ready to make money? YES!!!

However, as much as I want & need to make money, I also want to be able to consciously stay motivated & humble while enjoying the good things of life.

I want to live a life of purpose.

With that being said, I must admit that even though I’m young, one thing that is certain & I want you all to know is that “IN THIS LIFE, MAKE MONEY BECAUSE MONEY STOPS NONSENSE!!”

Till next time my people.

RiRi Out❤️

New Year, New Me… Bullshit!!!

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Hey there,

Yes you… it’s been a while, I know what you’re thinking. Yes, I have been MIA, and it’s been three months since my last post but here I am now; I missed you too. Can we move on now?

So I’ll go again,

Hey there, oh yes… Happy new year. It’s the start of a new decade, and I’m super excited for what’s to come. It’s not like I have anything spectacular planned, but I’m convinced it will be a great year/decade. I mean if nothing, my best girls will be getting married this decade ( most of those crazy girls are single to stupor, but we need to speak things into existence right?)

Oh I know what you’re thinking again, what about me right? Ha ha.. oh well, as the angel in the squad, it’s going to happen when it happens, I guess. Please don’t stress me!

2019 was one hell of a year for me. I mean I came face to face with death in September but guess who’s here now? I !

Moreover, I had a tremendous emotional growth. I never knew I could handle situations the way I did last year, but I navigated the worst situations with such grace that I still marvel at how good I took them.

I started my fashion line last year & even went for a fashion competition, I was live on TV pitching for my business to survive, eventhough I only made top 20, i learnt so much and I’m so proud of myself.

Wow Eby, who are you? Yes again, this is me giving myself a pat on the shoulder. I did well, and every good deed deserves a reward no matter how tiny.

I’m not afraid to admit that I failed at some things last year.

I realised that things end. You don’t always have the answers, but they just do & you have to make your peace with it.

What’s amazing about the future is that no one has a hold on it. We step into it in equal beat with everyone else. That means no one can tell you for certain what your life will look like, if you decide to turn the page and pursue something unexpected, surprising, or fill-in-the-blank. Maybe you’ll fail at it –, but we’ve already reviewed how that can work to your favor. Maybe it won’t last very long – yet again; things end sometimes, it’s natural and okay.

So when life takes a turn, remember that you alone have the power to say, “This can make me better, not bitter.”

You may shy away from failure, but you also crave victorious stories. It’s almost impossible to have one without the other ; all it takes is the courage to try. And never give up.

Also, I’m proud to say I found myself somehow; No actually, I’ll rephrase that, I’m learning to find myself … I’m beginning to understand the kind of woman I am, the woman I want to be, and I’m gradually finding a balance somewhere in between; it’s still a process, but I’m pushing. It’s never easy, but it doesn’t give you an excuse to give up because hey; you’re a warrior remember?! So let’s keep the energy.

Oh no! I’m beginning to sound like the inspire to aspire guys right? I apologise. It was never my intention. Trust me, I’m not a fan, either so we are good.

However, I’ll like to know your new year resolutions, (if you have any at all) & your plans for 2020. Kindly share with me, let’s help keep tabs on one another while growing & smashing our dreams; Shall we?

Anyway back to reality, I’m happy to be back. I look forward to writing & creating more content this year.

Happy New Year!!!

XoXo❤️

It’s a hard knock life

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Oh shit! Another Monday is here and i am still not a glucose mummy. I can’t believe I have to wake up by 5am to prepare myself physically & mentally for the hustle and bustle of Lagos. I have checked my purse to see if I had change because I can’t afford to let my 50 Naira go, these bike men can be very annoying, they’ll intentionally delay you all in the name of trying to get your change until you eventually let the money go because anything after 6:30am, the chances of getting Obalende bus from my busstop decreases to 40%, the more time you waste, the more the chances drops.

Lest I forget, it’s not just about getting a bus anymore but prices also get ridiculously hiked. Sigh, inside life…. but, we move.

The other day, I was literally singing to the bus conductor for my change from Ogudu to Obalende, the funny thing is that, I told him I had 1000 Naira on me,

“oga, you get change?” I asked

“Aunty enter enter, no worry, we go find am” he replied.

Normally I wouldn’t take the risk but I was already running late and I didn’t want to take Lekki bus for N250, plus, with the new sign in system at work, I couldn’t afford to get to work late.

I got on the bus, joyfully gave this conductor my 1000 only for him to hand me 500 and rudely said, “But I Dey shout say no change, you still enter, una no Dey hear word”

I stared in disbelief at what I just heard! Oga wait, am i a joke to you? Does this man think I’m stupid, didn’t he tell me to get on the bus? So many questions ran through my head as I stared at him. I chose not to reply because I had prayed that morning and I wasn’t going to let the devil tempt me.

“Breathe Eby, breathe” I said to myself while I plugged in my ear piece, jamming to Micah Stampley’s Heaven on earth. It’s a song I listen to everyday on my way to work, there’s a soothing relief and joy the song brings to my soul.

I kept reminding the conductor of my change as we faced the ever dreading third mainland bridge traffic but he’ll eye me and look away like I was talking to myself. The devil was really pushing, Infact I was convinced my village people were trying to use that conductor for me that morning, they want to snatch my morning blessing; Hay God, #Epp your daughter.

As the bus approached Adeniji, I reminded the conductor about my change again when he started yelling, I could not believe my eyes.. like whatttt??? Didn’t you ask me to enter? Is this man joking?

Thank God for the lady beside me who intervened. Long story short, he gave 4 of us 1000 Naira when we got to Obalende to sort the change ourselves.

I’ve never been so pained in my life, I blamed myself all through my walk down the bridge to get a bus going to Lekki while still looking back so my partner in “change” doesn’t run away with my money (I know what you’re thinking, but this is Lagos, expect anything).

After 5-10 minutes of our unsuccessful search for change, I decided to buy hot puff puff to break the money, I can’t come and kill my self. Na work I get, I no kill person.

That’s just 1 day in my journey to being my own glucose mummy. Some days it’s crazier, other days, it’s very calm.

I often wonder, what if this 9-5 life is not for me?, what If being an entrepreneur is also not my calling? what if I’m meant to be a sugar baby? I mean get me a fine old man with a nice bank account who’ll gladly send me on a trip to Phuket, Thailand. I can be a babygirl, live the private jet lifestyle, I am meant to be inhaling the cool ocean breeze while gazing into the beautiful blue sky, watching the crystal clear beach and palm-fringed coastline while dropping the “you have to inspire to acquire” motivation post on social media & sipping on a glass of red wine. Won’t that be perfect? Just wondering….

But no! Home training will be dragging enjoyment with me. I’m tired fam. It’s really a hard knock life.

This journey has been bumpy as hell, it’s had its highs and lows. It better be worth it… I have to go now, sleep calls. More gist to come.

XoXo❤

Mother’s Day Special

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Some say life is the best teacher but I disagree because they haven’t met my mother. My mother is a teacher of compassion, love, fearlessness & bravery. My mother is an angel, her love is the veil of a softer light between the heart & the Heavenly Father. The role our mothers play in our life can never be overemphasised and we pray they all reap the fruit of their labour.

Here’s what some special people had to say about their mother.

My mum is a very principled person, very sensitive calm and not much of a talker. She is the true definition of a Proverbs 31 woman. Flashback to August 2015, I was very ill and was bed ridden for months. My mum literarily put her business on hold just to take care of me. There were times I would catch her crying and I would hold her hands to assure her nothing would happen to me. I love adore her so much. She will always emerge in my dreams. – Todimu Ogunade

Wow,it’s been 23years life took my mother from us, life is so unfair,I don’t know what it looks like having a mother, but my dad made life so beautiful and easy. He played the role of a mother & father at the same time. He taught me everything a mother should teach her child,what a Strong man! Daddy thank you for being my mum all these years,I couldn’t av asked for a better Dad because I got the best one.I miss you everyday mum.Rest on Happy Mother’s Day – Adebomi Bukola

“Beautiful is Your Name, Wonderful is what you are to me”…

I know no one can pray for me like my Mother, No one knows an empty friend better than my Mother, My Birth canal through which I was delivered into this world, The only person who understood me when I couldn’t put words together, The first person to feed me, not from the kitchen but from her body, My first teacher, My First friend…. I was your handbag everywhere!… The first person that saw my mess as her mess! Happy Mother’s Day Omoge mi… I love you to the moon and back….- Sola Ajisegbede

My mother is undoubtedly the most amazing person I have ever met in my entire life. She’s an embodiment of beauty, love and care. She’s always embedded in me the need to be human first before every other role attributed to me. – Ademola Adeyemi

When I’m hopeless,she say things that will get me back on my feet. .My mama,my backbone,my prayer warrior. Thank you for the foundation you built for my siblings & I. Thank you mama and may you continue to reap the fruit of your labor.I love you endlessly ❤️– Ayo Olaniyi

“Right from the start, you were the one who nurtured me, prayed over me, worried about me, guided me and supported me in every pursuit. Thank you for being there every day with just the love I needed.” Happy Mother’s Day mummy – Louis Dike

“Who is your role model?”

A question fondly asked by people to children. The older the child, the bigger the chance that the response is someone from a textbook or tv. I happened to be one of those children. It took me almost 2 decades to know that mine was the one who birthed me. Strong, determined, hard working, smart working, business driven, family woman, the list goes on. As an adult, you piece the things from your childhood together to make sense of it. One of the things i realized, i was raised by superwoman. – Gbadebo Adeyemi

My Mother

My prayer warrior

My gist partner

My nurse

My Chef

My semi-confidant because whatevr I tell you, you will still tell daddy. 🙄🙄

My everything.

I am grateful for the values you have instilled in me and I am thankful that you have helped me at every stage of my life. I am thankful for the things you do that I don’t see, I appreciate the sacrifices you made and make just to make me smile.

Orisa bi iya o si

I love you mama – Nike Oyediran

Words fail me to describe how much my mother mean to me. Thank you for being my backbone, my everyday support, thank you for seeing the good in me always. Happy Mother’s Day Mum, I love you. – Yemi Aransiola

Hey Superwoman, that irreplaceable human in my life, my support system and best friend 💜 my mother ❗

I appreciate you everyday, today is to celebrating mothers and I just want you to know, I wouldn’t ask for another mummy if I am to choose again, LOVE ALWAYS.

Your daughter, Ronke. – Temitayo Taiwo

My First Crush

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The first thing you should know before you proceed in reading this is that It is not your typical love story lol. It’s the story of one of the most magical yet confusing feelings I’ve ever felt in my life! Another thing you should know is that growing up, I was not the everyday girly girl, I loved my comfortable baggy jeans, tank top & low cut. So crushing on a boy wasn’t necessarily my thing to be honest except he was Chris Brown, if not, Naa. I had a lot of boys as friends because they would always walk me back home from the barber’s shop. However, being lovesick wasn’t my thing. It was the first time i had the butterflies in my tummy experience.

It was a hot Thursday afternoon, my mum just dropped my sister & I off at church because Revd Paul, our youth pastor, had insisted on us attending teenagers camp that year. Heaven knows I was angry, I was not a fan of the teenagers department in my church. I had my own clique of friends, we all didn’t like the department & we were all rebellious so we had a very strong bond. Since I heard Revd Paul talking to my mum about camp, I knew I had to inform my clique as soon as possible so they would attend too & no one was allowed to bail out.

The excitement of attending camp didn’t hit me until I saw my friend’s mum’ car approaching towards the teenager’s church building, you can imagine how happy I was. I quickly left my sister’s side to join my babygirl. Even though I see her every weekend, we act like we’ve not seen each other in ages.. it’s always fun catching up with Toluwani. While we were busy catching up & sipping on our Mirinda, I saw a strange car, one I didn’t recognise because it didn’t belong to any of the family I know in church but I didn’t pay much attention, my friend will be in camp with me, that’s all I cared about.

I didn’t notice the people in the car had alighted & were already getting comfortable.. they’re going to camp too. Wow… this camp should be fun I said to Tolu, our sole aim was to go there to laugh, not to participate but to laugh! While we were waiting for the church bus to come back, I saw three of the kids from the strange car looking at us, one of them said something & they all laughed out loud, I knew they were talking about Tolu and I. Male gossips? Ewww. 1st turn off but I noticed one of them in particular didn’t laugh much and he seemed cool..

Anyway we got to camp around 4pm on Thursday, I was already very tired and was strangely missing home. We settled in, had dinner & proceeded to the hall for the welcome remark. The new kids sat right in front of us, still whispering & laughing, what’s with these boys, I mused. They can’t be forming bad guys here, they’re not even members of my church & they’re in my territory. I already drew the battle line at that point in my head.. I already had a soft spot for the “cool one” though.

The next day, Friday, I already met 2 of the kids as their bunk was two away from mine, very lovely girls. They told me the 4 other boys were their cousins and one of them liked me in particular.. oh wow. I had not even had time to check them out well. But while thinking about it, i was Hoping it was the cool one from the first day. My mission that day was to have a good look at them. Fast forward to later that day, that evening, as part of the activities, we were put in various groups, guess what? Two of the new guys were in my group! The cool one & his cousin 😬 Wow! We said our hello’s & they seem cool after all but I was still not a fan. I needed to know what they said about Tolu and I I thought.

Honestly all through our stay in camp, we didn’t talk much but I was gradually crushing on the cool one. His name is Niji btw. On Friday evening, we were cast to act a drama for our group at variety night which would also be our last day in camp before we traveled back on Sunday, isn’t God good? The icing on the cake was Niji was casted as my husband in the drama. Haha I knew we were match made in heaven, behold I’ve found the bone of my bone. Plus it was an opportunity for us to talk but he still didn’t say much to me, he told me he liked my top & my hair, I couldn’t stop smiling. I ran to Tolu to tell her about what he said, she was excited for me but she told me not to show too much excitement, true. I’m a bad guy, I shouldn’t show my excitement so he doesn’t start feeling like a mini god.

The strange thing was even though Niji didn’t say much to me, I would always catch him staring at me, everytime our eyes met, we’ll smile & look away. What the heck is wrong with this boy? Why wouldn’t he just talk to me I wondered. To make matters worse, I was very cool with his cousins in our group, he was in my group so we were always in the same space.

Variety night was fun, our drama went well too. I think it was the best part of camp. It was the first time we were out till past 10pm gisting and playing. We were all saying our goodbyes at the end of the night & exchanging numbers but my crush was no where to be found. It’s not like he wasn’t present there but he didn’t ask for my number! What?! Since he didn’t ask, I channeled my mind to just enjoying his company, gisting with his cousins & looking forward to seeing my family the next day.

Sunday morning, we were back in church. I honestly didn’t think about him much, although him not taking my number crossed my mind.

Anyway, that night my sister’s phone rang & it was one of his cousin’s from camp. She called to catch up with my sister as they bonded in camp, good for them. While I was busy minding my business, my sister called me & told me someone wanted to say hi to me, I reluctantly collected the phone to say hi when I heard the voice; it was his voice! It was Niji’s voice! Omg! Omg!!….

It’s okay!!!

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The first step I took to killing myself was believing that life would be a bed of roses. Remember growing up, planning my life & who I’d be at a certain stage and what I would have accomplished. To crown it all, I told myself after achieving all these at 22, I’d get married to my then crush at age 23 and we’ll live happily ever after! Feel free to laugh, I think we have all been there at some point in our lives.

The funny thing is I still didn’t learn, even though life wasn’t necessarily rosy for me, I still kept pushing but I was pushing towards the wrong direction, I was still consciously trying to mould my life into “perfection”. What was I thinking?! For every time I did not get something right or something planned didn’t go my way, I’ll get so angry and depressed, fighting myself & asking why I let things happen that way. While all this was happening, I still hadn’t learnt, I honestly did not understand still. I am sure I was viewing life as a one-way traffic, it was either my way or the highway!

The second step I took to killing myself was not learning how to let go. It took time for me to understand that walking away was as much as a choice as it is an obligation. It takes sacrifice & strength to ever walk away from anything you feel is not good for you. However, the end result is always joy & gladness, it’s always a sigh of relief and gratitude that you left at the time you did.

I’m very young but I’ve found myself walking away from things I felt were not good for me, for my sanity. I’ve had to walk away from love, friends, career, from a future I almost settled for, even family members (yes, you can walk away from toxic family members).

It looked like I made a mistake at first because it came with a really strong feeling of rejection, self-doubt, loneliness & sadness. At some point, I felt like I gave up on the things I loved but in the actual sense, it was me leaving things not good for me & not me giving up. there’s a difference between giving up and walking away. Looking back now, I’m glad I made those decisions.

The older I’ve grown, the more I’ve realised that perfection is an illusion in life. I don’t believe anyone has a “perfect” life because life is filled with ups and downs, highs & lows, you win some, you lose some etc the list goes on. However, the real display of strength is never letting your head down, not allowing yourself wallow in your sunken place for too long, getting up to try again.

I am not sure if I’ll describe me as “very brave”, but I’m very sure I’m capable of bravery, I also don’t think there’s a right time for anything, we are almost never ready for anything until we do it, only then we realise we’re actually more than ready. It’s just the fear of the unknown, the uncertainty that stops us. Doing anything is rarely ever the outcome of a decision made, sometimes you just have to do it like Nike said 😉 lol.

Speaking of walking away, I recognized it was time to walk away when I realized the people I loved were not appreciative of my love, I wondered why it wasn’t working out because they were great people but some great people may not be a great match for you when it comes to love and in life generally. So, I made a choice between the fear of the unknown, the fear of being without them, the fear of not finding anyone who I’ll love like them and the fear of what I knew could destroy me if I don’t walk away.

And I learned!

I learned that It was okay to get it wrong sometimes and get it right after failing so many times, a win is a win. I learned that only I could create the answer I was looking for, regardless of to whom I asked the question. I learned I had to love myself first before letting any other person love me. And finally, I learned that the things you were never meant to leave, will still be there some way, somehow. It’s okay to fall sometimes but promise me, you’ll rise again.

Love ❤,

Henrie.

This thing called “Love”

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I stepped out to buy some groceries when I heard a tiny voice say “Ekaaro aunty Eby, e ma ku Valentine oh”, it was the voice of Aunty Bola, the tailor whose shop is just adjacent to my house. Aunty Bola is a pretty young lady, from her face, I’ll say she’s light in complexion but judging from her body, she’s a dark lady, who has three kids but no one knows her husband. It’s not like I care anyway. She seems to know about everyone & everything on the street, I’m sure if there’s an award for gossip of the year, she’ll have no contender. Anyway, she made me realize its Valentine’s Day today.

I smiled, turned around to reciprocate the greeting, “thank you ma” I said as I hurriedly tried to get a bike.

“How are we celebrating it Nah? Where is our brother taking us to?”

She continued talking & the silly bike I tried to stop didn’t see my signal.

I had a confused look on my face, “Our brother?, Aunty Bola please leave me alone, which brother did you give me?”

I replied visibly running out of patience.

“There’s no brother & Valentine is just a normal day to me”

“Haaaaa, Aunty Eby, don’t tell me you don’t love anyone oh, I see the different cars that drop you off everytime, haven’t you picked one guy yet?”

At this point. I was irritated because I knew she was referring to the Taxify drivers that either picked me up or dropped me off anytime I’m going out. I honestly don’t know how I kept my calm all through the annoyingly long & meaningless conversation.

I smiled & said, “Aunty Bola, at the right time, I’ll get my own brother & we’ll celebrate Valentines day together, I really have to walk to the junction to see if I’ll get a bike” I said, as I tried walking away again.

“Okay oh, be safe” she said. I took a deep sigh of relief as I walked down the junction to get a bike.

I thought to myself, what’s all this fuss about Valentine’s Day. I mean, Love is beautiful but while we’re busy loving others, what’s the real definition of love?

I believe there’s more to the word “LOVE” than sharing presents, sexual attractions, and more.

It’s a hard thing to love, it takes conscious efforts. Having someone to love involves honesty, protection, security, doing things you swore you’ll probably never do & trust me, these things are most likely the dumbest things ever, love is kind & the list goes on.

They always say it takes more than love to sustain a marriage. I believe love isn’t about simply choosing to spend your life with someone. It is waking up every day and making the daily choice to spend the rest of your life with the person. It’s about being with a person who would text you good morning not because he/she feels obligated to do so, but because you’re the first thing on his/her mind from the moment he wakes up. Love isn’t passive, it’s an action— a daily choice. It’s never-ending.

However, I’ll love to focus on what I term as the most important kind of love, it is the most neglected type of love: it is SELF LOVE. We often get so overwhelmed by our constant search for love & acceptance that we forget who we are and what makes us happy.

Instead of sitting around waiting for someone to love you, why not choose yourself. Wake up and remind yourself that you are strong and worthy of being loved the way you want to be loved. Maybe, someday, you will get that kind of love from another person, someone capable of allowing you to love them completely.

Happy Valentine’s Day ❤

One thing to do this weekend

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THE UPSIDE MOVIE REVIEW

I usually don’t do this but this particular movie is very precious to me. I watched it sometime last week & I can guarantee you, it’s worth the hour & 30 minutes.

The movie is about a wealthy quadriplegic named Philip played by Bryan Cranston, who needed a caretaker to help him with his day-to-day routine in his New York penthouse. He decides to hire Dell, played by Kevin Hart, a struggling parolee who’s trying to reconnect with his ex and his young son. Despite coming from two different worlds, an unlikely friendship starts to blossom as Dell and Phillip rediscover the joy of living life to the fullest. Dell also helped Phillip move on from the death of his wife who died of Cancer.

Personally, I’ll score the movie 7 over 10. The movie is really touching, the fact that it’s based on a true life story made it even better. It is about second chances & forgiveness. Kevin Hart’s performance was flawless, he proved he’s a versatile actor, the amazing Nicole Kidman didn’t disappoint as well.

One of the beautiful themes of the movie is the show of love & support to people with disabilities. It’s been a while I’ve seen movies tackle such societal issue, I must commend the vision & the amazing artistic delivery.

Also, the friendship of Kevin Hart and Bryan Cranston in the movie was so beautifully portrayed & executed; very relatable too. Both actors shared a good bond and in every scene, i watched their love blossom, the bromance didn’t seem “forced”. The climax of the movie was however unexpected and the ending was beautiful. I’ll definitely recommend the movie to anyone.

Grab your popcorn, tissues( if you’re the emotional type) & enjoy.

Miss “Not So Conventional”

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Last week, I came across a viral tweet about a lady whose colleague felt it was okay for her to serve the board members after a meeting, because she was the only woman present at the meeting. According to her, she politely declined and her boss ordered her male colleague who made the suggestion to serve everyone, way to go boss!!!!!!

Growing up Nigerian, there’s a belief that as a girl child, you’re meant to be the care giver & the home maker. There’s a limit to what you can do and where you can be. I’m igbo, I remember how angry it made me feel that women were relegated in the social hierarchy. In fact a female child was almost considered useless because the belief is that her place is in the kitchen.

I honestly didn’t understand why it had to be that way, i remember how my mum would yell at me to join my sisters in the kitchen. We had this nosy family friend who would always compare me to their daughter who was my age mate, but had started cooking by age 12(good for her). When I was younger, I’d rather change the light bulbs, clear the grass, kill the chicken or help my uncle in his factory, than sit in the kitchen.

I can never forget the first time I made amala for the family, it was a disaster. ( now I’m a pro in the kitchen though, hopefully soon, I’ll be generous enough to talk about my relationship with food ).

We also teach girls to aspire to marriage , I personally feel African parents deliberately train the girl child to be a wife, how pathetic! Don’t get me wrong, marriage is a beautiful thing but there’s more to life you know.

Fast forward to today, gender roles in Nigeria is still a big issue and with feminist movement, a lot of women have awoken to put in 10x more work in other to get a seat on the table. I’m an Igbo girl and a typical Igbo man, educated or not, would likely pick a male child over a female child because the popular belief is that women are weaker vessels and their place is in the kitchen and their husband’s home(I know this because I’ve experienced it). It’s crazy how shortsighted we have allowed ourselves to be not to see how much potential a female child has. So because I’m female, I’m expected to aspire to marriage, to procreate and run a home but we often forget “it takes two to tango”.

I know you’re probably thinking, what’s the head and tail of this write up yeah ? Here you go 👉🏽

We live in a world where we’re presented with endless opportunities regardless of our gender. For decades now, women have been battling the conventional mentality that there’s a limit to how far we can go, the likes of Oprah Winfrey, Funmilayo Ransome Kuti, etc. Women have taken it upon themselves to show the society that we’re not only beautifully crafted by God but we’re also amazing creatures and there’s no limit to what we can achieve. Modern day women don’t make excuses of culture, religion, gender etc. Cultural backgrounds maybe be faulty, Yes, there maybe restrictions but we are ready to continue breaking these barriers and show the world that we are in an era of the “not so conventional Queens”. We have so much to offer than being the perfect wife, partner or mother but we can secure opportunities for education, new job possibilities, increase political involvement, and improve family expectations & raise new generations of fearless youths.

Dear Diary: It is what it is

Hmmm where shall I start from?

Even with all that’s going on and the uncertainties we are dealing with, I am still counting my blessings. You know why? God continues to be good, even through the good, the bad and the ugly.

Business

In 2018, I was faced with alot of uncertainties. Although I had a blossoming career in media & PR, I had little or no clue about what the future would hold. I have always been a multifaceted human being…the kind who always had something up her sleeve. @Mbhluxury was born from fragments. It was initially named Magnifique by Henrie however, there was a need for fine-tuning and transformation. I knew there was a vision in view but I struggled with articulating how the vision of the brand will play out.

Fast forward to 2019, I took a leap of faith and the brand was in full bloom. Steadily and gradually, alot of planning and implementation was in place. If I say that the journey has been a smooth sailing, then I will be lying. COVID happened last year and the world stood still!

Businesses were loosing money, the nation was in a great deal of turmoil, and the endsars saga happened. It was quite an emotionally draining and traumatic year but I held my head high and I was able to wade through the tide. The journey has been laced with its challenges but it has also been a beautiful ride.

In the last two years, my baby @mbhluxury has grown in leaps and bounds. The brand has grown to be a part of me and I really cherish it so much. The trajectory of my life has always been a fascinating one because I was so bent on channelling all my energy and focus on being a career babe. Now, I see myself gracefully nurturing not only my career, but also my brand that keeps evolving and growing. I honestly won’t have it any other way.

Check us out here: https://instagram.com/mbhluxury?utm_medium=copy_link

I got to know myself more this year, apparently you can exist and not understand yourself & the purpose of your being. I have always felt the purpose of humankind was to live to one’s full potential so I never understood the concept of death & life after death, especially youthful death . Does it mean they have exceeded their days on earth & fulfilled their purpose? Hmm… we’ll get back to this.

Personal Life

Anyway, I started this year on very high notes, zeal & passion so strong I could air-bend the ocean from its home to another location. However, life happened!

I had to unlearn, learn & relearn a lot this year. I can say my personal growth was exponential.

I took a lot of risks, celebrated my wins & counted my losses.

In the process of knowing myself, I discovered I can be very toxic. Trust me when I say I had the most insane battle with my heart accepting this but it’s true so I decided to see a therapist; definitely one of the best decisions I made this year.

She’s very kind & patient & before you say that’s what I paid her for, I had previously met one before her & it just didn’t feel right.

Now I can proudly say I’m growing & learning, thriving to be the best version of myself.

Friendship & Betrayal.

From dealing with a demon she-wolf disguised in sheep’s clothes, who appeared as a friend but the intent was to destroy; to finding out that everything is actually never as it seems with love.

I mean who knew friendship heartbreak was worse & more emotionally draining than a romantic heartbreak???

My mum always say, when a person hurts you, you are faced with 2 questions;

1. Is this person a bad person that made a bad decision?

2. Is this person a good person that genuinely made a bad decision?

I will leave you to answer but all I know is real ones mess up too but what matters is their actions afterwards. I also know you can forgive people & choose to love them from afar but never forget!!!

I also reconnected with old friends and I made new friends too. These friends have grown to be a huge part of my life & I won’t have it any other way. I guess it’s true what they say about relationships, “the grass is always greener where it is nurtured”.

Final Note

To my family, friends, loved ones, amazing customers, I owe you my gratitude. Thank you so much for supporting me, my brand and for believing in what it stands for. The journey is not yet over. It has just begun and I can’t wait to unravel what lies in the next chapter.

Despite my battle with COVID this month, I am still pushing and implementing new strategies that will push the brand forward.

In due time, we will be unveiling a new range collections such as street wears, swim wears and lots more. So stay tuned and keep supporting MBH LUXURY

Once again, thank you so much for standing by me and for believing in me. It means alot and like I will always say, I cannot have it any other way.

I wish you all a Prosperous New Year. Stay Safe and Keep Winning. ❤️