I stepped out to buy some groceries when I heard a tiny voice say “Ekaaro aunty Eby, e ma ku Valentine oh”, it was the voice of Aunty Bola, the tailor whose shop is just adjacent to my house. Aunty Bola is a pretty young lady, from her face, I’ll say she’s light in complexion but judging from her body, she’s a dark lady, who has three kids but no one knows her husband. It’s not like I care anyway. She seems to know about everyone & everything on the street, I’m sure if there’s an award for gossip of the year, she’ll have no contender. Anyway, she made me realize its Valentine’s Day today.
I smiled, turned around to reciprocate the greeting, “thank you ma” I said as I hurriedly tried to get a bike.
“How are we celebrating it Nah? Where is our brother taking us to?”
She continued talking & the silly bike I tried to stop didn’t see my signal.
I had a confused look on my face, “Our brother?, Aunty Bola please leave me alone, which brother did you give me?”
I replied visibly running out of patience.
“There’s no brother & Valentine is just a normal day to me”
“Haaaaa, Aunty Eby, don’t tell me you don’t love anyone oh, I see the different cars that drop you off everytime, haven’t you picked one guy yet?”
At this point. I was irritated because I knew she was referring to the Taxify drivers that either picked me up or dropped me off anytime I’m going out. I honestly don’t know how I kept my calm all through the annoyingly long & meaningless conversation.
I smiled & said, “Aunty Bola, at the right time, I’ll get my own brother & we’ll celebrate Valentines day together, I really have to walk to the junction to see if I’ll get a bike” I said, as I tried walking away again.
“Okay oh, be safe” she said. I took a deep sigh of relief as I walked down the junction to get a bike.
I thought to myself, what’s all this fuss about Valentine’s Day. I mean, Love is beautiful but while we’re busy loving others, what’s the real definition of love?
I believe there’s more to the word “LOVE” than sharing presents, sexual attractions, and more.
It’s a hard thing to love, it takes conscious efforts. Having someone to love involves honesty, protection, security, doing things you swore you’ll probably never do & trust me, these things are most likely the dumbest things ever, love is kind & the list goes on.
They always say it takes more than love to sustain a marriage. I believe love isn’t about simply choosing to spend your life with someone. It is waking up every day and making the daily choice to spend the rest of your life with the person. It’s about being with a person who would text you good morning not because he/she feels obligated to do so, but because you’re the first thing on his/her mind from the moment he wakes up. Love isn’t passive, it’s an action— a daily choice. It’s never-ending.
However, I’ll love to focus on what I term as the most important kind of love, it is the most neglected type of love: it is SELF LOVE. We often get so overwhelmed by our constant search for love & acceptance that we forget who we are and what makes us happy.
Instead of sitting around waiting for someone to love you, why not choose yourself. Wake up and remind yourself that you are strong and worthy of being loved the way you want to be loved. Maybe, someday, you will get that kind of love from another person, someone capable of allowing you to love them completely.
Happy Valentine’s Day ❤

