Oh shit! Another Monday is here and i am still not a glucose mummy. I can’t believe I have to wake up by 5am to prepare myself physically & mentally for the hustle and bustle of Lagos. I have checked my purse to see if I had change because I can’t afford to let my 50 Naira go, these bike men can be very annoying, they’ll intentionally delay you all in the name of trying to get your change until you eventually let the money go because anything after 6:30am, the chances of getting Obalende bus from my busstop decreases to 40%, the more time you waste, the more the chances drops.

Lest I forget, it’s not just about getting a bus anymore but prices also get ridiculously hiked. Sigh, inside life…. but, we move.

The other day, I was literally singing to the bus conductor for my change from Ogudu to Obalende, the funny thing is that, I told him I had 1000 Naira on me,

“oga, you get change?” I asked

“Aunty enter enter, no worry, we go find am” he replied.

Normally I wouldn’t take the risk but I was already running late and I didn’t want to take Lekki bus for N250, plus, with the new sign in system at work, I couldn’t afford to get to work late.

I got on the bus, joyfully gave this conductor my 1000 only for him to hand me 500 and rudely said, “But I Dey shout say no change, you still enter, una no Dey hear word”

I stared in disbelief at what I just heard! Oga wait, am i a joke to you? Does this man think I’m stupid, didn’t he tell me to get on the bus? So many questions ran through my head as I stared at him. I chose not to reply because I had prayed that morning and I wasn’t going to let the devil tempt me.

“Breathe Eby, breathe” I said to myself while I plugged in my ear piece, jamming to Micah Stampley’s Heaven on earth. It’s a song I listen to everyday on my way to work, there’s a soothing relief and joy the song brings to my soul.

I kept reminding the conductor of my change as we faced the ever dreading third mainland bridge traffic but he’ll eye me and look away like I was talking to myself. The devil was really pushing, Infact I was convinced my village people were trying to use that conductor for me that morning, they want to snatch my morning blessing; Hay God, #Epp your daughter.

As the bus approached Adeniji, I reminded the conductor about my change again when he started yelling, I could not believe my eyes.. like whatttt??? Didn’t you ask me to enter? Is this man joking?

Thank God for the lady beside me who intervened. Long story short, he gave 4 of us 1000 Naira when we got to Obalende to sort the change ourselves.

I’ve never been so pained in my life, I blamed myself all through my walk down the bridge to get a bus going to Lekki while still looking back so my partner in “change” doesn’t run away with my money (I know what you’re thinking, but this is Lagos, expect anything).

After 5-10 minutes of our unsuccessful search for change, I decided to buy hot puff puff to break the money, I can’t come and kill my self. Na work I get, I no kill person.

That’s just 1 day in my journey to being my own glucose mummy. Some days it’s crazier, other days, it’s very calm.

I often wonder, what if this 9-5 life is not for me?, what If being an entrepreneur is also not my calling? what if I’m meant to be a sugar baby? I mean get me a fine old man with a nice bank account who’ll gladly send me on a trip to Phuket, Thailand. I can be a babygirl, live the private jet lifestyle, I am meant to be inhaling the cool ocean breeze while gazing into the beautiful blue sky, watching the crystal clear beach and palm-fringed coastline while dropping the “you have to inspire to acquire” motivation post on social media & sipping on a glass of red wine. Won’t that be perfect? Just wondering….

But no! Home training will be dragging enjoyment with me. I’m tired fam. It’s really a hard knock life.

This journey has been bumpy as hell, it’s had its highs and lows. It better be worth it… I have to go now, sleep calls. More gist to come.

XoXo❤